Did you know that my boobs are lop sided? Did you know when I bend over they look something like pancakes? Did you know that insurance pays for new ta ta.. Well that is if you have insurance. I look in the mirror everyday now that I have loss this weight and my boobs were already fucked different after the lump ectomy.
 I know this shouldn't be a big deal but, I don't ever want to put on a swim suit. I feel like I some how along the way joined the itty bitty tittie committee. I didn't even want to apply and apparently a 35mm tumor is enough to make one nipple point north and another point south. Go Cancer right?
I don't know what to really say other than cancer has so many effects on my  life that I wonder what I would be like with out it. My body might look a hell of a lot better if I didn't have it.

Old pictures

Conflicted

I feel conflicted today. Stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Sometimes doing the right thing doesn't put you in a great place. It never fails that when you try and do the right thing that it can blow up in your face.

 I came home the other night and confided in Mr. Jones about feeling conflicted about some event that had gone on during the night. Of course when you share those feeling you set them up for being open feelings that get shared around.

Anyway long story short; I feel better today and that is what matters right?


One the other note. OMG I had the fucking stomach flu and boy did it stick my on my ass. I have to admit that it was awful. I woke up drenched in sweat feeling a little nausous at two... By two thirty I was hugging the poclien god. This continued all night until noon the next day.

My entire body was on fire. My legs were throbbing. My stomach screaming. Everything HURT. I couldn't even get up to make lunch..fuck I couldn't even get dressed. It was awful I went from the couch to the bathtub to bed a dozen times. Never getting down anything to eat. I finally was able to take some advil about 6 and wow the difference that made.
I fell asleep at seven and slept till seven and I am still tired. I know everyone in the family will get it. It just sucks to know that I always get it the worst because of all this treatment.

Thanks to Sleeping in the bushes!

Rabbit hole

Down the rabbit hole
To so many places unkown
To match my own concepts
To find a new idea
I run around the rabbit hole
Afraid to move forward
Afraid not to move at all
Hoping to find the truth
The truth that lies deep with in
My own depths.
I pivot to run
Only to fall right in.
Now what?

Go the Fuck to Sleep -read by Samuel L Jackson

Colbie Caillat - I Never Told You