06/06/2012

After Sean and I got married I changed my name. I didn't even think twice about changing it. Two days after our wedding I was down at the dmv changing my name.

I always thought that I would keep my own name. I thought that my name said a lot about who I was. Who I have been my whole life.  I enjoyed my maiden name. I enjoyed what that said about me. I thought the connections with my my family were more important that what ever my new name would become.

Then today I received an email of surprise from a dear friend about the name change. He hadn't expected it and to be honest I hadn't either. He wrote about how his wife hadn't changed her name and how he supported her in that due to an experience he had years before. He had taken a class where they asked them to write their name with their significant others last name. It changed the way he looked at it. I love that there are so many options in life. How marriage has changed. How so many rights have changed. Hopefully we will let marriage continue to change.

For me changing my name was great. It was something that I wanted to do. It was choosing this family. It was choosing to make this family the family that comes first. It was a commitment that I was making to Sean. He is my family and I can't imagine not sharing his last name.

I secretly love looking down at his left hand and seeing his ring. I love that he introduces me as his wife. I  love that we are together. Okay enough of this.

6/4/2012

Summer is here. 

This means the good and the bad. 

The kids don't have to get up early = good

They can't find anything to take up their time = bad

They are able to hang out with everyone and we can finally make some plans = good

The girls get to spend weekends at home = Good. 

 I can't seem to ever be alone = bad

 Everyone wants a pool = good

 Later bedtimes = good

 Stress = BAD

Yep it is pretty exciting around these parts.

5/31/2012

Asthma.

Scary. not fun. crippling. 

Corbynn has asthma. 

She has always been a sicky. 

The coughing never seemed to stop. 

Countless hours in the doctors office with no explanation.

A lot of time wondering why she always go every thing.

She would cough all day and night with no 

other symptoms or sometimes with

every other symptom. 

Runny nose, fever, ear infection. 

The antibotics never stop. 

Now we are on a new inhaler. 

A steroid that they hope will work. 

I am hopeful yet unsure as I always am. 

Medicine is always a guessing game. 

Lets just hope Corbynn keeps taking it is stride.

19 days until we are at the beach. 

the count down is on.

5/27/2012

As I thought things passed over with out even another thought. It is amazing how powerful PMS + work stress can be. In those moments of despair going to bed still holding each other is the best choice. We both awoke to hugs and I am sorry speeches.

Last weekend we went to a amazing cabin with our good friends the Irishes. I cannot even express the amount of love I have for these two. It is incredible how fun, upbeat, and caring they can be.
We had a wonderful weekend filled with lots of laughing and some deep conversation.

Lots of love to them.

Here are some pictures.

5/25/12

Relationships are just hard. There are days when nothing goes well. You just can't speak. Nothing you say is heard. Times when things are not on the same line. When nothing seems to be making a difference. No matter how hard you try.

Out here in blog land we tend not to talk about the hard stuff. The stuff that makes you cry and yell.

Today was just one of those days or maybe I should say weeks. It just hurts. Stress levels are running high which makes home hard. Today I feel like no matter what I do that I don't do it enough. No matter how hard I try, it may not be enough. That I just can't seem to do enough to make him proud. I don't work hard enough or make enough. Today I feel very small. Like an ant that you could come across and just step on. You may not even notice that you have crushed me. You may just be there unknowingly walking and crush me. that is how today is. Today I feel like I am not enough. Today I am not good enough. It hurts my heart down deep where no one sees. Today is that day. The day where we fight. We remember just how hard complicated marriage is. How hard it is to be two instead of one.

 How in awe of those who do it smoothly. Those that have been married for ever. Those are the ones that I want to run to. The ones that I want to hold me close and tell me that the truth about marriage is just that compromise and love go along way. I know these things already but, being around a person who does these things every day is different. The way they say it is different; it comes from the experience of many fights.

5/15/2012

 

Yep it is warm outside! It was finally time to pull out the water guns and bring in the neighbor kids. 

Corbynn isn't herself again yet. She cries at every corner. I think she may need LOTS 

more sleep. 

This is little M. He is the cutest kid EVER. He is a couple years younger than Corbynn and 

most of the time they get along great. 

He jokes more than she would like. 

Not to mention he is a "boy". 

I love that they play. I love that they get along. 

I love seeing her in the older

sibling role. 

Very cute. 

5/6/2012

Released back into the wild! 

Scott moved back to Salt lake City on Wednesday. After 5 months of intense rehab he is going 

back to work. It is amazing what your body is capable of. 

It seems strange that just a few short months ago we did not believe he

would even pull through. 

Then he did. Then we were worried they he may never regain a memory. 

Then he did. 

There were some many things to over come and yet with everyone he got 

stronger. 

Then he left for his old life. 

The one where he didn't have to check in. 

The one that was his own. 

We will miss his humor and company. 

But we are SO very happy that he has made the 

recovery that he has. 

Pretty amazing it is. 

Here are the shots of him pulling out last Wednesday.