Sunday, July 25, 2010

Finding new ground

I am amazed at the things you will do to feel better. I will make coffee, take a run, go outside, take a new drug, experiment with sex in the morning or at night. What in the world will make me have energy again? Well let me tell you whoever you may be.

WELBURTRAIN- stop smoking, and get rid of mild depression. I am unsure if I needed either of these. I went in complaining of fatigue left with a little piece of paper for some thing that was suppose to give me energy.
In fact folk it did. Maybe even a little too much. For I have now crashed lol.Three days of almost no sleep and feeling like I have been cloud surfing. I am suddenly happy and with energy. I don't know if I should be happy about it or not. I don't want to believe that I may need a drug to keep me up and moving every day however, I am willing to take this over the sleepy I don't want to go out side feeling of the last few months.  I have to say that I have felt less like myself than ever. I really am looking forward to going on a bike ride, or swinging on tree swing, laying in the pool with the kids in tow.  I miss being a part of everyday life and the way I had been feeling was making it impossible to feel like I was a part.
    It makes me sad that so many mothers these day life in a world confide by post pardon depression. Who are afraid to reach out for help. Who don't want anyone know that they are depressed because they think it mean they are failing. I am friends with so many who will admit in a quite please don't tell anyone voice that they are depressed but, are unwilling to seek help because it isn't that bad. I pray that they will find help before they become totally over taken by depression.
   I am trying to figure out a way to get involved any ideas?

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