Wednesday, August 3, 2011


Happiness- is a mental state of well-being characterized by positive emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.
 Love is an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment.
   Inspiration- (countable and uncountable; plural inspirations)
1. The act of inspiring or breathing in.
3. (physiology) The drawing of air into the lungs, accomplished in mammals by elevation of the chest walls and flattening of the diaphragm.
4. The act or power of exercising an elevating or stimulating influence upon the intellect or emotions; the result of such influence which quickens or stimulates; as, the inspiration of occasion, of art, etc.
5. A supernatural divine influence on the prophets, apostles, or sacred writers, by which they were qualified to communicate moral or religious truth with authority; a supernatural influence which qualifies men to receive and communicate divine truth; also, the truth communicated.

Inspiration has more descriptions than love and happiness maybe because when you inspire you are happy and when you inspire you show love. I find myself seeking inspiration; trying to find out where to lead my life. Some look for God; some seek enlightenment all to be inspired, feel love, and be happy. Do I have to have religion? Do I have to have faith in the normal GOD?
Eat, pray, love said it best for me. “God lies with in me as me” All I can do is be me; be the best me that I can be, and forgive myself for everything I have done because no one can hold me back but, me.
I have known this for so long yet, it is hard to follow the truth. It is hard to let go of those thoughts that hold you back.
I think of all the experiences in my life that has made me who I am today. That shaped my life and left giant holes in my heart that bleed out and stop me from moving forward. I know I can do great things if I would let go of the doubt that causes me to stand back and watch others excel while I hide by the sidelines.
While I am at the burn this year I have promised myself that I will let go with the fire of the temple the big ones. The ones that I hide in my heart and hold me back from being great.
I will let Mikey go. I will stop holding him here. It was never him that needed to release me it has always been me that needed to release him from my pain.  I will send his songs back to him and let his soul rest. 8 years is too long to hold things here when they are so far gone.
I will forgive myself for not being the perfect wife while I was married. So, that I can move forward in my relationship with Mr. Jones who is the most wonderful man I know.   
I will embrace my cancer again and again because it is one thing I can’t let go off. Cancer doesn’t control my life; it gives me inspiration to believe in myself.

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