Sunday, November 25, 2012


We headed up the winding road to Montana for Thanksgiving this year with all the kids in tow. Which I have to admit 7 hours in the car with three kids is not always the best time, however they did amazing well. The first two hours are always the worst while kids get comfy and into the grove.
    The drive from Boise to Hamilton Mt is a very, very windy. All the kids thought they needed to play games and watch movies so you can imagine how it went when car sickness kicked in.  We made it in one piece with no vomit or fighting!

     Sean's parents are saddle makers and excellent ones at that. They do some amazing work. I love going out to the saddle shop and hanging out. The smell of leather brings me to another place. The amount of hard work that goes into a hand made saddle is incredible.

      Dakota spent most of her weekend out in the saddle shop with Bob stamping leather. She must of sat silently stamping away on her leather strips for six hours on Thursday morning before it was time for the feast with grandma. I love how comfortable she is with adults. She seems to find her adult and suck information out of them.

Corbynn was a total grump all weekend, but it turns out she had a UTI and was uncomfortable for most of the day on Thursday and all day Friday. We ended up having to do some in home treatment for her on Friday night after Grandma's 90th birthday party.

Speaking of grandma's 90th it is incredible how young 90 is these days. She lives on her own and has more energy than I do I think. NOT to mention she may be the most stylish 90 year old in the world.

Monday, November 19, 2012


I have more problems calling for my results than I have getting them. I send my doctor to my voice mail at least once a week. I just don't want to know. I just want to hide out and believe that things are just as they were two weeks ago or two months ago.

My husband doesn't like my need for avoidance much. I think he believes that I am waiting to die when I just don't feel like changing in the moment.  I get tired of the smell of the doctors office. It isn't that I don't want to know it is just that I can't spend another hour there. Maybe if I don't answer the phone they won't ask me to come back. Horrible plan right?

Otherwise things are great! Koda's birthday party went great! They were SO excited.

Nothing more fun than Ice skating. The girls had a blast and so did I

Thursday, November 15, 2012

1 month

It has been a full month since I got off my meds. Even with my cancer acting up; I feel better. 
I feel a lot more me than I have in a year. 
There are have been many ups and downs this month (the scale has told me so)
I had some trouble with the candy the first few weeks.
I felt this constant hunger. So I ATE and ATE... 
Over the last three months I have gained
9 lbs. 

With that on my mind I couldn't seem to keep myself out of the  fridge. 
Talk about a case of NO restraint. If I had one I had twenty. 

This week has been a lot better. 
My constant hunger has gone away for the most part.

Emotionally I feel like a new person. 
When somethings goes wrong it only takes a few minutes 
to realize I shouldn't let it shake my whole day. 
For the first time since Scots accident I am starting to feel like my own person again. 
I think I may have blamed Scot for a small piece of time.
I know now that it was my meds and I am sure that radiation didn't 
help me. 

Things are looking up over here.

I am resting after a long day... 

Monday, November 12, 2012

Weekend in Pictures

 I am all about Sunday Funday. On the way to watch skyfall... BTW awesome. Loving the 007 right now. Maybe just because I continue to wish the first 007 was my dad.

Voted Did you?


It was super cold here this week. SERIOUSLY

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Hubby stuff?

Sometimes I like to wear my husbands Freshman year Letterman jacket.
Do you have weird things you wear?

Friday, November 9, 2012

STS Cancer

Dear Cancer,
          You have been such a large part of my life for so long. There are days when I am so unsure of what to say to you; How to think about you with out saying thing that only bring me down, because nothing brings you down.
             In order to be true to myself I have to tell you things that I am proud of. I am proud of the last six and a half years. How this burden has changed me as a person. I am proud of how many people I have been able to help through cancer. I am proud of the changes I have made in my overall health.
           More than anything I am thankful for the relationships you have brought into my life. The joy that has come from those is worth way more than my health. These people have shaped my life into what it is today. The are the ones I go to for support and daily friendship. I am lucky to have them in my life for continued inspiration. These are people that spend their lives fighting to save lives or fighting for their own lives. I have made life long friendship with the family of those I  have lost.
          I look to them for comfort that if you one day beat me that they will be there to guide my family gracefully through my passing as I have watched them guide their own families. Creating traditions to remember lost ones. Creating joy around them and most of all stepping forward in the fight.
        On day you won't be here anymore and it will because of all the people you touch that you won't be here anymore. You are building an army against yourself. Be ready they are coming for you.
         I will always be thankful for you, but I will be more than thankful when you are no longer here to hurt my loved ones.

Monday, November 5, 2012


Is it wrong that I more excited to have the elections over than I am to vote? I hate the hate adds. I hate that our world has come to slandering the other player. I am amazed that we continue to support this as we try and teach our children sportsmanship in all forms.

Our country doesn't even play that game. I appauled at what people tell their children about these amazing people that have come so far. What our country does to make the other candidate look so bad. Neither of these people are BAD people. It takes a great person to take this challenge and instead of supporting them we slash them down and make them into monsters.

We no longer look at what they stand for, instead we take pieces of what they say that don't sound good and place them in every add across the nation. Then we tell the less educated yes believe what you hear and vote. Let not push them to look at the issues that face the nation. Let manipulate the numbers, the views, the law, and their person lives and tell them how to fuel a lie.

In the end no one wants to vote for either of them because we are inundated with the negative; not the choices or idea the pushed them to success. It is no longer about choices it is about slander. We the American people continue to support this crap. We teach our children that the best way to win a race is to manipulate the truths until they are almost lies.

What are we teaching our children right now? Not that our government is truthful or that they care instead we are teaching our children that the guy with the most dirt wins. Or if you look at the numbers you know that one that spends the most money on adds wins. None of these promote how great the player is...

As I go to the pulls tomorrow it is to select the better of two evils and that is how I have viewed the last 4 presidential races. Not because I think either is really evil, but that both have used the wrong kind of adds to support their races.

These are sad days in political times.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

The sisterhood

Do you ever feel like you are lacking female true connections?
That it is all keeping up with the JONES?

I get that feeling all the time and we ARE the Jones. 

We are the ones that are still on top. We still have jobs. We still make an income we still 
win all the time. 

Yet, when I get around other women I tend to believe that they are out to judge me. To make feel different. To make me feel guilt or shame. I don't know how else to explain it, but it never feels

I know that this may mostly be my problem. It may be me having self esteem issues. It is me having
Self esteem issues. It is me not feeling confident about myself enought
to hang with other woman. 

Kind of like fearing going to yoga. 
Yep working on that tonight. 
I will let you know when I have it figured out.