Saturday, July 28, 2012
Nothing is going to be the same as I once thought it was. Maybe death was like a smooth riding safety net. No matter how horrible it was it was going to be over. Life would have gone on with out me. It would have been hard for a lot of people but, it would have been done. No more treatments no more pain.
Well life is different. Endless treatment options, lots of pain, and more than anything a totally loss of identity. Who am I if I am not Kayla who's diying of cancer? What am I going to do with the rest of my life? Do I really want to be any of the things that I thought I needed to be to get though this?
I am not sure.
I am not sad.
I am not depressed.