Sunday, May 16, 2010


It is warm out side!!! I can't believe it is 86 out side. I have found the sun. What did I tell you wearing my flip flops in March brought the summer home... Two months late but, it is here.

I went walking on Friday and found myself in a cemetery. It was a old cemetery one that brought many memories back for me. I was looking at all the stones, they were so old. I couldn't imagine what their lives were like. What they went through every day just for food, shelter, medical treatment. I saw a group of stones maybe ten that were all from 1944 , all babies... They sadness in my heart was almost overwhelming. That doesn't happen now, hardly ever does sickness take over a town. How lucky we are. It was so comforting to see all the body at rest. I forget how much I love cemeteries, I forget the peace I feel there. I think of family finally coming together. Some of those families may have never been families when they were alive. Some on those people waiting a very long time to make their peace with who ever was coming to lay next to them in ultimate resting. I hope that I will feel as at peace there in my death as I do now.

I went to Twin falls on Saturday if you don't know that is about 170 miles from home. I love the drive. I love sitting my feet on the car dashboard almost in the window. I love feeling like I am going somewhere. The hills on this drive are so amazing, they kind of wander over each other. I feel alive while I am in the car. I forget for a moment that somethings are still not perfect and I just feel. I felt positive, alive, and cared about. I LIKE to FEEL. I forget to FEEL.

Show me something new? I need something to hold on to. I need to see something else. I need to know what is real... Please show me.

I am still confused about life however; ever day I find something that I am no longer confused about. Today I am no longer ponder the what ifs today I am realizing that it isn't what if it is what now. I am in the moment, I am choosing those moments. So why not live them while I can? I leave you with a couple thoughts: Are you happy today? Did you stop to smell a flower? Are you feeling at all?

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