Sean and I baked cookies side by side tonight (aka about three days ago); it was wonderful. Sean said it best "See the world does go on" After weeks of chaos we still bake cookies, pick up kids, tuck kids in, make lunches, and snuggle. So, even as we grief for Sean's father, worry about Japan, get ready for my surgery things still move forward. We are still a family who makes time for each other. The last few weeks have been overwhelming but, at the end of the night my life is wonderful.
I did a three day fast along with a salt water flush which may have made me a little crazier than normal. I can tell you that I am getting way better at telling myself no. I made it through four dinners and a lot of lunches and snacks for the kids with out much temptation. I did stop fasting tonight and had a egg and a piece of toast and a home baked cookie (which my tummy is very unhappy about) but all in all I feel better in side and out.
Stress is part of life; we can't control it we can only manage it to the best of our abilities. For me that has usual meant to just stick it on the back burner and look away while it cooks in the back of my brain for a couple weeks till I explode. Now I am learning to process stress and release immediately so that I can still enjoy the day. It is a hard change and it isn't happening all at once but, slow progress is still that progress.
We talked of all the changes my life has seen in the last year from schools, new relationships, new leases on life, and step children it is no wonder I have felt amass lately. My brain hasn't had the chance to even find a silents space let alone let myself have one it it was found. So for today... I am just letting those things ride. I have made progress and I will continue to.