I often wonder how people set their priorities? What makes one thing more important than another? Does what they place upon that importance on indicate a moral standard? Can you ever be upset wen someone doesn't place the same importance on some thing as you may? I understand that this is why we have bosses at work to set those priorities but, what about at home? Can you tell some one that the importance they place on one thing is ever less than one of your own?
I find myself with my feeling hurt tonight. I know that their is no way that he could have known that I would be hurt. Nor that he could have known how important it was to me. I understand that I need to breathe and just let it pass because it is no ones fault but my own that I am upset.
We passed a very small milestone in our relationship recently and even though you would not normally celebrate for it... well a lot of couples do but, for most it is just one day along the way to many more. For me though it is a lot more. I was never suppose to see this year let alone another relationship. I was never suppose to experience this milestone again. I was suppose to be six feet under and yet here I am the happiest I could ever be. I felt it was a huge milestone to me. I never mentioned it or thought to plan anything yet I felt forgotten when the day came and passed.
Today, I feel hurt and sad even though I know it is my own fault. As Sean has a most needed night out with the guys I am home feeling let down. I know dumb girls right? I don't know what I wanted. I am not sure if it would have changed this strange feeling but, I am just in a place where celebrating my life with some one is a dream that I never thought I would get. I know this won't be a fairy tale I am not naive by any standard even though this feeling is due to that fairy tale.
At least I know that I am unfairly upset at Sean. That should help the feeling pass. I think being home with the kids 24/7 makes my a little crazy. I know that I wanted to stay home and actually RAISE my children . Not let someone else but, I give it to you stay at home moms hand down.. It is hard, I don't think anyone realizes how hard it is. I used to stay home a lot but I only had 50/50 custody now that I have more custody and more kids wow... I understand.
When this was your motto for five years how do you deal with stress, being disappointed, overwhelmed, and just plain not so sure?