Saturday, May 14, 2011

Bad Blog... Bad Blog.

Okay here goes... Why do I feel so worn down? I have lost so many of the other side effects: fainting, seizures, headaches... But  it has been replaced by the want to sleep all the time. I forget everyday why I am SO grumpy. Then it flashes in front of me.. I am still in radiation. I am still get blasted EVERY day. No wonder I feel like this right? Then why is it so hard? Why do I feel like a prisoner of my own body some days?
    As Sean goes to work out at the gym. I am home feeling guilty about it. I feel like I am letting him down. Getting fat and letting him down. I Know this isn't the reality but, I hear the disappointment in his voice when he calls and asks if I am coming and I say no.... Maybe it is my own guilt I hear. As my tummy grows more and more out of shape I grow more tired and lazy... LAME.


  1. I hate down days and it sounds like you are in a serious FUNK and rightly so. I know you understand the depth of your situation, but you NEED to keep reminding yourself of that and cut yourself a break... a BIG ONE.

    You are doing enough to your body right now... you can rung it through the gym/exercise ringer later.

    For now put your feet up, grab a cat nap and have a snack... healthy or not ;)

    Dr. Suzy's orders!

  2. I've heard radiation is as devastating as chemo.
    You are doing well. Take heart.

    My husband has just stated chemo.
    Maggie X

    Nuts in May

  3. I'm sure his disappointment is because he'd like your company, not that he's displeased with your body. I think you're doing the very best you can, and rest is just as important as exercise is. Be kind and gentle to yourself.

  4. Thanks ladies! I needed the encouragement. I will try to keep my mind on it that way! I am making some sweet little cakes... Maybe I will eat some!