New Year. New style. New Goals.

   
 Looking back on the last year it was nuts. I did a lot of good things and failed to do a lot of things that I wanted too. I am taking full responsibility for those goals that were never reached. I spent a lot time consumed in "social media distractions". I know that social media increases my business but it can become a little excess. I am sure all you other Blogger/facetimers/instagramer know what I am talking about. I consider 2013 a huge year of growth for me mentally/physically/spiritually. I think I entered 2013 with rose colored glasses on. I was married to a wonderful man, working for what I thought was a great company, had a group of great friends. I was looking forward to a successful year. What I found out was I was without goals and didn't have a real plan for success. That applied both personally and professionally. This year is full of opportunity to fine tune what I started in 2013. I started a lot in 2013 and this year is going to be about follow through.
    First off personally I want to continue on my fight for a healthier life. I want to get back to my mostly veggie life style and re-incorporate juicing! I fell off the healthy train somewhere in 2013. It all goes back to follow through and what I want for 2014. I to work limiting the amount of box food I place into my body. I need to work toward having clean eating habits in order to keep that cancer at bay.
    Building a stronger body and working on making working out a priority in my life. In 2013 I worked out a lot. I made a lot of strides towards my body and I want to keep up those habits. I want to work out 3 times a week every week this year. I would also like to incorporate some yoga into my workout plan to go along with the running and weightlifting.
    I have been working on meditating to deal with stress and I love it so I want to continue doing that. I would like to branch out and work towards my own spiritual beliefs. I have spent most of my life as just agnostic and I don't know if that will change. I want to spend some time every month working on me and my beliefs
    I want to get involved in a parenting class to help combat the ever changing life with kids. I also want to make it a goal to have Sean and I on the same page when it comes to rewards and discipline. I believe that us being on the same page is going to be vital to making this blended family function well. We are making it right now just because the kids are all doing well, but with the teenage years right in front of us it is time to work together on a solid parenting plan. It isn't that we don't agree it is just that we don't have a plan. It seems like with melding two families together it is an area that needs follow through.
    The big goals of 2014 are mostly professionally. This last year has been hard on me professionally and that is no one's fault but my own. I took a lot of risks this year and I believe they will pay off going into 2014, but not without a plan to handle growth. I want to make a solid income above my current cost. I would also like to see myself close 24 deals in the next 12 months. Doing that is going to mean a lot of work. I need to set work hours for myself and stick to them. Having the option to work when I want has made for a lot of wasted time or time running with my head cut off. So I am currently working on my business plan more on that later.

 
More than anything else I plan on being present in 2014. I believe that is the key to all of these things. So here is to seeing you all succeed in 2014

 

 
   
 
      

Grand Targhee!!

Sean and I had a blast in at Grand Targhee Resort in Wy. We snowboarded for four days straight. Even though we didn't have mass amounts of powder we did have massive amounts of fun. We pulled in just hours after the sky had dropped 12 inches of powder, but before we had time to make it on the hill it was completely tracked out. We took one run and couldn't find a groomer it was a little rough... You know calf burning rough. :)

We went to x-mass dinner at the lodge and had a great experience with their four course meal. I had the sturgeon and Sean had the steak. I had never had sturgeon before and I don't think that I will ever be my top choice but it was good. Thick like a steak, yet flaky like fish. It came with the cutest little dessert and also LOTS of wine.

We saw a local Boise band there called Stoneseed. They were different, I really enjoyed their sound. I was surprised that I live in Boise and had never heard of them.  The violinist was hard to watch due to her constant angry look on her face. If she hadn't been dancing I would have thought she hated her own music. I am excited to listen to the CD we got.

My snowboarding is getting a lot better. Every time I go out it gets a little  easier to trust that my body really does know how to do this. I think it is funny how much of snowboarding is a mental gain. When I learned to board it was easy, I was just naturally good at it. After a couple knee surgeries and a lot of cancer later I wasn't feeling very awesome on the hill.

Holiday Love

We celebrated x-mass  on winter Solstice. The year has gone by in a flash, and I am not sure where it has gone. It has been an amazing year without a lot a lot of speed bumps. I have been trying to compile a list of all the positives that happened this year and then I realized I am living those positives.

I am so thankful for my life. It has changed so much in the last few years. We have so much and my memory of having so little is so far in the back of my head. It just wasn't that long ago that putting gas in my car was difficult.  Somethings change in a blink of and eye.

Sean and I leave for Grand Targhee in the in morning for 5 days. I am really excited to get some time with Sean. To be able to board for a few days and not worry about all the things that are coming ahead this year. My snowboarding has so much better in the last year, I am looking forward to being able to keep up with Sean. Sean has not been able to board to his skill level over the last three years while I have caught up. Not saying that I am good rider yet, but I am keeping up. My turns are getting sharper and more fluid and I am having a lot of fun on the hill. I can't wait to have a good time out there and to be able to see Sean having the same good time.  Sean is going to go on a Cat ride and spend half the day snowboarding out in the thick of it. I don't feel like I am up to it yet this year, but I am super excited for Sean. He is going to love it.

my Heart.

It is the season of heart. It is where the world comes together and celebrates giving, loving, and being a family. A whole heart. Well.
   This last few months my heart has been acting up and not in the greatest way. I have been running a lot lately and when I run my heart rate is over 210 after about .25 a mile. I knew that something was wrong, but admitting that is hard. Understanding it is worse; the truth is my heart is struggling to keep up. I am on a EKG for the next few days trying to figure how bad it is.
    I have spent the last couple days under playing it to the best of my ability. truth is I can't it may be way worse than I want.

Little Bully's

   They seem to be every where and a lot younger than I remember them being when I was small. Those bully's seem to know how to cut you down and do it well. I am amazed at how quickly my amazing, strong, smart 3rd grade daughter becomes a weak, sad, unsure little girl.
    The bulling has been going on for a couple of years that means the "mean" girls started early 1st grade. The things have been said and done are not just little girl stuff they are straight up MEAN.  I have heard reading retard, your just not smart, I am so much cuter than you that I will most defiantly be picked before you, the only reason these people are friends with you is because I tell them to be. This is just what I have heard.
   Where is this coming from? How have we become people that teach our children to be diva's, princesses, brats? These are the idols are small children have. No wonder we have little girls that are worried about their figure at 7. These little girls believe that they can talk like adults, dress like them, and even worse that they are encouraged to act like them. Everything that we tell them, let them watch, and show them is pushing them more and more into this attitude that is getting worse. My girls don't want to be astronauts; they want to be the next big diva on Disney channel. Have you read Junie B Jones lately? She is horribly behaved and doesn't have any idea how to speak and she is a staple in every 5-8 year old library.
     I am starting to feel we are creating these "mean" girls by letting them believe they are diva, princess, above their elders. I know as a generation we wanted everything to be fair. I think we have pushed fair to a whole new level. I heard a child about six tell their mother in the grocery store "That she wasn't the boss and she would do what I say." Come on, really?
    I have no where to judge my children own all of these books. They watch the shows. I see the attitude yet I haven't put on my big mommy panties and said no more. Now I am dealing with bulling and it isn't just the child or even their parents; It is everything about what little girls are these days.  I am sad. It just seems like we are training them to look in the mirror and criticize and then expect everything because they are "perfect princesses". I know this is a rant but COME on.
Done thanks.
And then there were Halloween photos and such coming tomorrow when I am less angry.

Mid-life.

I think a lot of times all we talk about online is the nice cushy shit. Well life just isn't that cushy. Life is hard with many ups in downs. Our bodies, mind, relationships all change. 

I know a lot of people that get to the late twenties and early thirties that say they feel so amazing because they have finally found themselves. I am starting to believe we are in  a constant  state of change as your values, family status, career change. Just as you start to feel secure in what you are something changes whether it is a goal or a huge life change.

I am luckily in my late twenties and feeling like I have found myself and am on the right track. I feel confident that if I keep doing what I am doing that I WILL succeed. I will make it in Real Estate, as a manager, and hopefully as a owner of the next ten years. 

My husband on the other hand is in year 18 at the same company. He is in his early 40's and starting to go through another change. His goals are changing not to mention some of the goal he set when he was my age aren't completely finished or are completely of track. 

I won't go into to much detail cause it isn't mine to share, but the effects on our family are. It is hard to see him stress and anxious. It is hard not to take on shame that my husband is struggling. I have a hard time not taking on his stress and being stressed due to his stress. 

Anyway... anyone have some advice.

 

NOT mine but totally in love.

Stolen... From unknown source. But i LOVE IT

I want to love you.

I want to love you if you are male or female, young or old, single or married…

I would like us to share the couch together, rather than sitting so far away where we may as well be sitting on brick blocks seated four feet away. Lay your body atop mine. 

I want to show up to you and look into your eyes instead at your eyes. I want to feel your hand and be consumed by it until the rest of the world ceases to exist. I want to be in your presence and be in want of nothing.

I would like you to leave our time together feeling loved and free and full of your most vibrant and luscious hue ofyou-ness.

Please do not get confused: I do not want to have sex with you—whether you are male or female.

I have no sexual agenda, as you know, because we laugh at the freedom we feel to speak to strangers for reasons other than because we have to or because we’re hitting on them.

For me, sharing sex with someone requires a certain alignment, and I do not take that lightly. My sex requires that I can possibly foresee living with a person and combining all my stuff with all of their stuff (and I mean physical, emotional, cognitive and spiritual stuff—the stuff that just feels heavy if it’s not the right fit, but feels buoyant beyond imagination when it is). It is delicate, it is careful, it is not presumptuous or impulsive.

And I do not think that our connection is somehow weakened because we do not share our bodies with each other.

For love is love is love is love, and that is what I want.

I only want us to fall in love.

Now I realize that at some point, either you or I may change our minds and crave sexual expression with each other.

For I am human—as are you—and we have wants that change and grow.

But if that desire should spring upon one of us, I hope that we will talk about it, the way we talk about the universe, cultural tropes, the nature of depression, what makes a good cup of coffee, and how your day was yesterday.

I hope that that topic of conversation is no more avoided than talking about the latest episode of Doctor Who or how to effectively clean one’s mouth from Oreo breath.

I would like you to share yourself with me—every stitch of you—so that I may be warmed and nourished by your tapestry. And I would not like you to worry that some of your threading is inappropriate or uncomfortable to share with me, because I am only here to accept you exactly as you are and to take interest in the way you step through life.

So lay on me your doubts, your troubles, your faux pas, your suffering, your sadness. Lay on me your hopes, your dreams, your excitements, your curiosities, your guilty pleasures.

I want to see you how you see yourself.

And while you tell me all of this and more, I would like to rest my eyes upon your eyes, and take my hand upon your back, and laugh up to the ceiling as you divulge, because it is in these moments of pure exposure that I bask in the ever-so-specific you, and I become the ever-so-specific me, and even though you’ve never stepped into the tides of the pacific and I’ve never ridden a skateboard, I am more sure than I’ve ever been that we are the same.

I don’t care if I see you everyday or if I see you only just the one time when I happened to be in that coffee shop and you happened to be making my drink (which was delicious, by the way, and thank you for not rolling your eyes when I asked if your only non-dairy milk was soy)—I want to be your lover.

And I will have the lover whom I share a bed with, and it will be none the less—on the contrary, that love will be all the more—because I take on another million lovers.

So if you’re ready, let me see you and let me love you.

My insides, my arm, my couch, my laugh, my eyes, my toes are all for you.

I hope that is enough.

My house

     My home has exploded!!! why is it when my Sean and I are both home sick the house is just a total mess. It was like the perfect storm of stuff.
     My brother came over and painted our bathroom and re-stained the deck. So there is evidence of home improvements every where. Between that and our own general lack of cleanselness our house has hit and all time low. HOLY DISHES... seriously.

      This whole joint parenting thing is a bitch. There was a time that I thought I had it made. We had weekends off and a lot grown up time. I was living the single life and the family life it was awesome. It isn't so awesome anymore. It is getting harder and harder to share the girls. Between activities and friends the girls just seem to be missing out. This week is the school carnival and I am painting faces. The girls can't come because its their dads weekend.
    There is a lot going on there and it is hard. It is all very hard. I feel like I am pressed between a rock and a hard spot with all the family drama. That I have never had before.

Check in

I had a amazing six month check up... that check up stated that I don't have to come back for 6 months! Do you know what that means? I don't, but I am hoping that it means that things are getting better not worse. The last time they told me not to come back for six months; they didn't t expect me to come back at all.

The girls seems to have grown so much over the last few weeks. They haven't been babies for a very long time but, they still were my little babies. We now have these amazing adult conversations. It is hard to imagine that they have gotten to the point where they have a concept of life. They know what is happening in the world and want to talk about. I makes me sad and excited at the same time. Koda will be nine an a month. I just have a hard time imagine that in just that many more years she will be an adult... CRAZY

Here is the photo drop you're all expecting.

The starting of Halloween decorations at our house

My awesome Goodwill find

Pool with Corbynn

She is getting pretty good

 

Day three

     Day three of my juice cleanse has been a lot easier. The first day is always horrible, second always has cravings, and most of the time the third is met with a breakdown and lots of food. Over the last three days I have had a few handfuls of popcorn unsalted with oil and chili powder, watermelon, peas, grapes. Cheating and all I feel good about it. I have no idea how long I will take this, but I feel strong and plan on continuing forward.
     Strangely enough I woke up heavier today than I started. It was a little discouraging to say the least. I don't think I will be checking the scale for a few days to insure my enthusiasm doesn't dip.
I am back up to my top weight bracket 132. It is hard to see that number again. I promised myself I would never get up this high again. Here I am 132 and not fitting into any of my jeans.
    Today I had Lemon chili pepper tea for breakfast followed by green juice.
I had more green juice for lunch with a couple grapes and pea's and green juice for dinner.

I am now drinking more tea.

Dreams

sometimes you wake up in the morning and realize that dreams are so hard. You wake up feeling exactly what you felt while you were sleep. The anger, fright, love. You see a side of people that may or may not exists but it is how you see them.
Last night I had one of those dreams that hurts you in the middle of your heart. You wake up and you feel yourself make a judgement about the person in your dream. Even though they did nothing even though they didn't even thinking about it.
I hate waking up feeling like something horrible has happened...

Does this happen to you?

The Big Day

Tomorrow starts the biggest day of the year for me. I am doing it. I know I have been toying with the little cleanses, but I am in. I am going for the gold. I want to do the Crazy Sexy Cleanse twenty one days without anything processed.
I am ENraged by our food industry. I am appauled by what is happening to my body and not okay with what is happening to me. I refuse to let this take over. So I am going to drop what I am doing and spend some time with the old juicer and see what I can get done.

I know I have tried this before but JUICE here I come and I am serious. NO achohol, NO bad food, and a lot of juice.

Lets see how this goes tomorrow is going to start it off.

Juice, Kids, Spring break.

My new juice taste just like green lemonade which makes drinking it ten times better. I have honestly been craving it and then being to lazy to make it. (Should work on that) It has truly become part of our lives. It know it seems like I have got crazy but, I haven't it really is that GREAT. How can I convert you too?

The kids are out of spring break and driving me CRAZY... I have to tell you that they are absolutely on one. The not so funny jokes, weird noises, and constant question are driving me up a wall. I NEED MORE WINE to make it through the rest of the week. SERIOUSLY MORE WINE>


Things have been crazy here. The remodel is slowly moving forward and we will see what happens as the weeks come to a close.

I made it to the gym two out of three days this week but, the scale seems to be going in the wrong direction. Every time I step on her she tells me I am gaining weight. Anyone else experience this?

Are you watching Dead wood.

   Have you started and stopped or are you fully hooked?  I tend to go back and forth; days when I am not ready to turn it off. I can't get enough of the rough, gross, crude, bloody stuff. Then the very next day I am hiding in the kitchen refilling Sean night drink to avoid the t.v.
    There is the hot guy with the bow and arrow too... Maybe this is still coming from when he was the HOT brother Irishman. I had dream about him for years. Now I get to watch him daily or weekly.

So tonight I leave you with hot guy.

Making motion

This made me giggle. Just a tad.

Corbynn is back in spring suffrage. Welcome to Asthma season; worst time of year around the Jones.
Today she is feeling a lot better to day; yesterday was one of those days that I was grateful for her 02 saturation monitor. That thing is a saving grace in more than one way. Last year I would have packed her up and taking her to the hospital. They would have put her on a nebulizer and we would have come home. All the while incurring a HUGE bill. Now that we have the monitor I knew where she was and could deal accordingly.

These days with the sicky make me so grateful that I am the one with a major illness and not them. It would be impossible to watch her go through this every day.


Clean eating has been going fairly well. Here is my recipe of the week it taste like green lemonade
3 green apples
2 kale leafs
1 whole lemon
3 handfuls spinach
1 inch ginger
7 celery sticks
2 cucumbers

  Did I mention that I am doing couch to 5k? I am sure I did, but I feel the need to brag  a little. I have been making it to the gym with more regualarity that ever before. In the last 12 days I have gone 7. I honestly have never had a lot of motivation, but with the help of this app. I feel great knowing what I am going to do and feel even better after I do it. I have incorporated some weight training but not a lot and would like to have more. Maybe a need a mentor??

Suggestions?

The Truth about hair extensions

     You may have noticed I got myself some new hair this week. It was an investment I am not going to lie. A lot of  dollars later I have a full head of hair and not very many regrets. Nothing like hair to make you feel like a real woman. This shouldn't be the case but boy it is; I have woke up every day this week super happy to do my makeup dress up and go to the gym. Hair is SEXY we all know it even if we want to think that is vain.. truth is it just is.

     The truth is they aren't very comfortable for the most part they are a little painful. People say that the itching and neck pain goes a way in a few days but, I haven't experienced that yet. The are just a little uncomfortable.  Do I think about taking them out? Of course I do. Am I going to? Not a chance in this world. I am keeping them in for at least three months. Hopefully my hair is a little bit longer by then and I will have a few more options for my own head of hair.

    Putting them up is the easiest way to style them but, it is also horrible for the extension. So wearing them down is the way to go. I am trying to only pull them back when I am at the gym. The rest of the time curling them seems to be the way I am rocking them.

Like I said it is great having some extra length. Do I magically feel more sexy? YES I do!

Happy St. Patty's Day

    This is one of my favorite holidays of all time. Growing up as a Obray it was just part of the family tradition. You would wake up to corned beef hash and mid day have corned beef and cabbage. It was one of the few family traditions. When I was young we didn't have a lot of traditions the ones we did have were kinda without any direction.
    When I started my own family I didn't understand what we were missing until I became remarried. Now I am looking forward and realizing that I want my family to have many traditions. I want my family to have the memories I have lack of my childhood. The blogging world has shown me what traditions can bring to a home.
     I am missing doing my family traditions today but, non of our children are home so we will start making these traditions soon. Do you have any traditions that you love?

       Here is a photo dump of this week.

Time Passing.

It seems amazing that I can sit in front of my computer for weeks on end with nothing to say to the world.
I have no real excuses to my lack of ambition. Other than that lack of ambition.

The real estate market is going very well right now. Things seem to be moving forward without many problems other than lack of inventory. It seems the buyers are rushing through the doors again and yet there are no properties to sell them.  This week has brought in four offers and a lot of nothing

We took all the kids up skiing to weeks ago and oh what a blast it was. The kids did amazing I am amazed at how well everyone is skiing these days. I am almost saddened by how fast these little babies grow. I find that I look back on six or eight years ago and it was just yesterday. Yet here I am with a girl that knows what she want and normally how a pretty great idea of how to get there.  They have ideas and plans and futures ahead of them.



 I see little babies every where and start thinking that maybe I want one. Then I remember how rough it was when they were little and can't imagine adding babies into our busy lives. I wake and I feel like the to-do list is never ending. How would I fit little people back into that mold? I don't think that I will. I will continue to gaze at them lovingly and hope to babysit more often. 

Reason right now is the time to purchase!

    It is amazing how many people don't know that now is the time to sell! I know this is NOT what you have heard in the past but, they are wrong.
   The inventory is VERY low here; which means you are going to get noticed. Your home if priced right will fly off the market before you can clap your hands.
     Your home is still in winter mode there for you don't have to keep up the yard for the next month.  That is a huge perk for you!!! That means you can keep up the inside and not have to do too much to the outside.
     The buyers that are looking now are SERIOUS buyers. They are here to buy and they know what they want.

Why aren't you selling your home? Is it because of the number you saw on your tax form? I am here to tell you that number is VERY wrong. Let a professional come and look at your home and tell you what the market is doing.

I have been in the business a long time and a lot of what is happening out here will amaze you. What you hear isn't always what is under the mat. If you have been nervous about what your home is worth now is a great time to know where you stand.

weekend update

  flooding.  It has been COLD and when I say COLD I mean COLD for Idaho. We don't normally see -0 temperatures. We have always had a varitaty of temperatures ranging from the 40 to the 10 with a few days of rough zeros. Over the last month we were stuck under a large inversion that kept our temperatures very low. So low in fact that our drain for the washing machine FROZE. 
    We have spent the last few days surrounded by fans... They were horrible; loud enough that we couldn't hear to eat dinner.  Days later we had just gotten rid of them and we re-flooded our laundry room this morning. talk about craziness.

     On top of all of this I was suppose to be a FLOURISH this weekend. I was so looking forward to a relaxing weekend with a bunch of girls! Boise had a freezing ran storm on Thursday morning which led to me being stuck in Twin falls after both Boise and Salt Lake City were shut done. I never made it to Dallas or the ladies but, I did make it home to my family! Lots of weekend love!

Corbynn

Could Corbynn be any cuter? I think not.

Ten things that you didn't know.

1. I really can't stand people that chew ice.
2. I am very unsure of my body no matter what the scale says.
3. My first real boyfriend killed himself.
4. I really enjoy a snow before any one walks on it. (also makes me want to drink red wine)
5. Fridge makes me happy. (girls is making me happy too(
6. There are times I wake up in a swet wondering how I ended up with cancer and you didn't
7. I love the way my husband smells after a work out.
8. Watching my kids sleep is a one of life purest pleasures.
9. I stand on the scale every morning and feel total guilt.

Been making smoothies.

The happiest this girl has been in a long time.

Cutest little kitty every

Date night

Great boot buy.

Cute outfits coming together one by one.

Late night ER runs.

10. I fell in love with my husband when he drove 362 miles to pick me up from a European adventure.