Monday, February 7, 2011

Wonder

Unable to truly capture the feeling this is what is left. 

      I stare out the double sliding glass door looking for changes in the weather even though only moments have past since my last long look. I wonder if it is as frigid as it seems outside. Getting up to open a door does not feel like a thing I want to do. 
      I feel my heart pumping within my head... I have heard very strange things in there lately. My head is filled with more thoughts and idea's than I remember having before. The room shifts from here to a tilt where I ponder if my lamp will fall..No just me. I wonder who this is in here? I wonder if this radiation has a name once it is deep inside me. 
     For now, I shall sit among my things for today is not a day for adventure. Today is a day for dreams. I dream a lot after radiation of ideas I have never had. I frighten, delight en, and change direction. I wake up unsure if I was in rem or if I really flipped of that troll that happened to be parked in his red bug on my spot on the couch. I have to wonder... What has taken over?

2 comments:

  1. This is a terrifying time for you but I am grateful that you are writing it down. People have to understand what others go through.
    Hoping things will be better soon.
    Maggie X

    Nuts in May

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  2. ohhhh. Oh, you. Write it down. It's part of your story. We all hit places where we wonder what has taken over. My heart goes out to you there.

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