Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Just Venting

Pain management container... That currently isn't being used. Trying to be tough.

Pain- is an unpleasant feeling that is conveyed to the brain by sensory neurons. The discomfort signals actual or potential injury to the body. However, pain is more than a sensation, or the physical awareness of pain; it also includes perception, the subjective interpretation of the discomfort. Perception gives information on the pain's location, intensity, and something about its nature. The various conscious and unconscious responses to both sensation and perception, including the emotional response, add further definition to the overall concept of pain.

               Do you think that if this unpleasant feeling is conveyed to the brain by sensory neurons that maybe  just maybe they can kill mine while they are microwaving my brain? 

I am screaming on the inside tonight. It comes on in ways as the headache take over sending shockingly overwhelming surge of sound, light, and extreme pain. I know they said it is a side effect however, this is out of control. I can feel my heart beating in my head. Da dum, Da dum, Da Dum.  Normally I would find this entertaining like a beat to make up my own song to, but right now it makes me want to cry from the sound of my own heart beat. I feel achy all over and jerky like my brain isn't sending the right signals to my body. It starts to and then pauses then comes in and  finished it. I wonder if I look like a mystery robot?

      Today right now I am grateful for being alive. I am grateful for being able to raise three wonderful kids. I am grateful to have been able to hold down my food today. I am grateful that I have cute shoes. I am grateful that Sean was able to stay home with me today. I am grateful for the sunshine. I am grateful that I have such amazing caring friends. I am grateful to have this radiation. I am very-very-very grateful for cookie dough. 

Tonight my only goal is to make it tell tomorrow. Tonight I do not "have" to do anything. Tonight I will allow myself to be pampered and cared for. Tonight I am sick and that is okay. Tonight I will let go of this pain and bring positive energy to my healing.

        See, I told you I was going to be more positive this year... Watch me work it. 

Sleeping... I have some serious smile lines I did NOT know about



  1. Thank you for your sweet comment on my blog. I am so honored and blessed that you enjoy reading my blog. I am so encouraged by your blog. It is inspiring to see in spite of the pain you manage to find the way to be grateful. You are a blessing, and I'm glad I can be a follower of your blog too :) I hope you feel better tomorrow too.

    xx Kristen

  2. Thanks Kristen! I really enjoy reading your blog it has such a up-beat feeling. I Like your energy and your love for your family. Your sister is inspiring as well. I am glad I am inspiring because I feel the opposite sometimes.
    Glad to have you around my blog! Happy to be around yours too!