Monday, January 17, 2011


After soaking in the hot springs! See, I told you I laugh a lot.
    I had a lot of time to think this weekend. I turned off my phone, laptop, and myself; I looked inside my life. I am here today grateful for my life. I am grateful to be here to experience every moment of it.
   We spent Friday night with out our kids having a evening at home. We played little big planet and laughed as we killed each other off over and over again. We cuddled up on the couch and watch Dead wood until midnight. Then tucked our self's in bed for the night. I am continually amazed at how easy our time together is. How many of my hours are spent giggling and smiling. I am amazed at how being open to something makes it possible.
My wonderful friends; Jesse and Celeste
  Sean and I packed up our swim suits and headed to Miracle Hot Springs in Hagerman Idaho on Saturday. It is a two hour drive from our Eagle, Idaho home; which is mostly ugly then suddenly you drop into the amazing valley with rivers and waterfalls and so many hot springs.
Everyone rocking out some Yoga in the main dome

    It is wonderful to find little dream spot in the middle of the dessert. We spent Saturday with a wonderful group of friends; soaking, drinking, giggling, and playing like children. We danced until the wee hours of the morning and then slept like rocks in domes until mid-day. It was great to be able to connect to other people. To hear different views on life. It was a great group of friends and new friends. It felt wonderful to leave cancer in Boise and spend a night feeling completely alive. My friend Celeste made me amazing hanging earring to go with my new bad-ass hair. They are green feathers and they are wonderful, completely excessive, and fun. I am in awe of her talent and expression. I left the hot springs feeling energized with life. I left there feeling more in love with Sean than ever. I left Hangerman with a sense of family. 

Our friend Randy did some fire spinning!

   Sunday was spent just sleeping, eating, and cuddling. It was needed and well enjoyed. We found a new sushi restaurant; had a wonderful dinner. Went to Freddy's and then came home to play more little big planet. Then we laughed a lot until we went to bed.
    Radiation has left me tired and drained. It has been a rough week physically. Mentally it has been tough to stay positive however, the support around me could not be better. When ever I felt low I was picked back and reminded these feeling are temporary. That the outcome of all of this pain might lead to a long life. I may be able to plan for a future. That the seizures may pass and be completely in the past. For now the pain is hard, uncontrollable and weighs heavy on the mind but, I have hope and a solid belief that I will be rewarded with a life that I once thought never possible.
        Sean as always is incredible; singing away my seizures, laughing with me, holding me when every thing seems so lost. I love how he asked what he can do to make things better after he already has. I love when his arms come around me and we share a moment that makes me shiver inside. I am a lucky girl to be with such a incredible guy.

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