Saturday, January 29, 2011

A few days in the making!

    I am starting to believe that Thursday may end up being a day to celebrate in my and Mr. Wonderful's house. It seems like Thursday is one of the only days that I do not feel like ripping my own hair out let alone anyone else's hair. So, for our little family Thursday may be becoming the holy day of the week. I finally start feeling human again for the first time since Monday late on Thursday. I know I don't have treatment till Tuesday but Monday every nerve in my body is on some kind of fear crack. That makes Thursday very, very nice for everyone. 
   I did a bunch of nothing on Thursday. I laid around trying to find motivation to a: do laundry b: organize c: call a thousand people back d: just move, nope none found. I was so tired from my multiple seizures that I did not leave bed today other than to go to the doctors to make sure I had not permanently damaged myself.  
   No one got much sleep Wednesday night. Sean was up all night holding me in between seizures and I was up all night having these stupid seizures. Sean had to go to work Thursday morning so Thursday night we tried to sleep like rocks but the aches and pains were a little intense for sleeping. I spent most of the night having multiphase hot flashes and sweats. Overall though I felt pretty good both Thursday and Friday. 

Mom and I went to Eli's awards ceremony on Friday morning. Eli goes to a advanced public school here in Boise and is a rock star. Eli made both honor roll and mathematics man awards. He also brought home his report card which he brought up almost all of his grades. Not that he was scoring low on anything mind you but,  he was not taking advantage of his time in class, talking, sharing, talking, more talking. Eli opened his report card  on the way home and shared it with me; I felt a  sense of pride in his achievements. Not only that was he treated me as if I was a mentor but, that he wanted to share it with me. Everyday he makes me feel more and more like a mentor to him. I enjoy being around to help with homework and after school activities. Eli is a great kid, I am lucky to have him around the girls.
    The rest of Friday was hard. I was tired, I couldn't seem to find myself, I was completely off.  By the end of the day I was crying and feeling pretty sorry for myself. Radiation is hard some weeks; this week was a really, really hard week. I struggled with everything under the sun. It makes recover rough when all you see is yourself falling into ever known crack. 
   We went snowboarding today!!!!!!! I love the way I feel on the mountain.  The wind in my face when I am speeding down a hill. I LOVE the way I feel when I reach he bottom without falling on my butt down a hard run. Today, I took a chance and took a couple large jumps. I did not land either of them but, it is actually take them that is the hard part. After hurting my knees so badly a few years back I haven't been boarding to anywhere near my potential. Today was a step in the right direction!!! Wish I would have taking a picture of me falling on my butt. 
   My energy levels are low still. I am taking at least three naps a day, whether they are good naps or not doesn't matter. I am working on getting out of this funk. I will you watch me. I am going snowboarding on Monday with Mr. Wonderful while my mom watches Corbynn to try to stay in a positive mood while radiation approaches.  I believe it will be a wonderful day!

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